• Asheville police, firefighters protest 1% pay raise in three years
• Gigantic US Cellular sign applied to Civic Center over layers of whitewashed, slipshod repairs
• Jackson County Sheriff stems tide of ‘whiskey-swilling savages, keg addled frat boys’ while performing circus-style riding stunts atop moral high horse
• Man attacked with kitchen knife defends self with hallway knife, living room knife, foyer knife, and finally, on front stoop, a lawnmower blade
• Citizen-Times’ long-time IT man retires; leaving ink buckets, reverse lettering, in his successor’s capable hands
• Large brewery rumored to not be relocating to Asheville. Local officials to announce later in the week which brewery not moving here
•Syria’s Assad praised for shelling city blocks to make way for future bike lanes