In a land-swap deal worked out between City Council and area developers, land in Asheville will be swapped for land in Gastonia. “It’s a classic example of a win/win, public/private deal,” gushed Buncombe Economic Development Director Bill Jones. “Gastonites were sick and tired of all the polluting industry, the hot climate, the jokes about excess … Read more
Hear Spot moan The story about communicating with animals [“Hear Spot Talk,” March 18] was amusing, to a point. But Cathy Easterbrook was flat-out wrong in telling people not to interfere in animals’ lives. Is she saying that we should disband animal control, dispense with the cruelty laws, close down the animal shelter, and let … Read more
A United Nations reconnaissance helicopter ran afoul of a militia dirigible over Asheville yesterday and fell into the French Broad River, according to a story in the April 1 WNC Paranoiac — the official newsletter of Citizens Against Anything Not Taught in Vacation Bible School, a watchdog group seeking to slow the pace of human … Read more
True or false: The Metropolitan Sewerage District is a branch of Buncombe County government. Answer: False. If you guessed right, you’re doing well: In a recent survey, 36 percent of Buncombe County residents had the mistaken impression that their sewage is treated by a county agency; another 26 percent figured the MSD is connected to … Read more
After keeping close watch on local worms, Gravity Commissioner Wayne Smith has concluded that we in western North Carolina may be living in the midst of a full-blown gravitational anomaly. Earthworms, says Smith, are “very sensitive” and react to — perhaps even predict — shifts in gravity. The commissioner has monitored both captive and free-range … Read more
Full-spectrum road rage In an attempt to counter the increasing frequency of “road rage” incidents in Buncombe County, commissioners voted recently to replace the traditional red light bulbs in the county’s traffic lights with full-spectrum red lights from Earth Fare. “Full-spectrum lights bring an aura of purity and freshness to people, objects and surroundings,” said … Read more
Fast food may be cheap, but the money adds up: Two men have recently pleaded guilty to scamming large amounts of money from businesses selling burgers and snacks. Benjamin James Lonic, 27, of Horseshoe, was accused of skimming more than $200,000 through Info Trap, a company providing payroll services to other companies. In Buncombe County … Read more
In a surprise move, Asheville City Council came out of closed session on April 1 to announce the sale of the Vance Monument for $1 billion. “This is a great day for the city,” said Vice Mayor Ed Hayword. “With that money, we can build a Six Flags over Asheville at Richmond Hill — and … Read more
An Asheville woman has filed suit against a grocery-store clerk for pinching her on St. Patrick’s Day, even though she was wearing green at the time. According to police reports, Meghan Eileen O’Flannahan was purchasing a six-pack of Guinness at the Fresh Market on Merrimon Avenue on March 17 when the clerk, Catherine Colleen O’Malley, … Read more
It’s pretty hard (although fairly hilarious) to envision Russia’s heavy-set, stern-faced president, Boris Yeltsin, in a frothy tutu, satin toe shoes and a plumed, rhinestone tiara, his countenance aglow with beatific expression, mid-jete to the strains of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. Nevertheless, Yeltsin and his recent political predecessors have profoundly — and not altogether gracefully — … Read more
